Protective Patterns

Everyone admires the strong one. The dependable friend. The calm parent. The coworker who somehow manages everything. The person everyone calls during a crisis because they always know what to do. From the outside, it looks like confidence. It looks like resilience. It looks like having it all together. But what most people don’t see is […]

If you’ve ever thought, “I’ve tried everything, so why do I still feel this way?”—this is for you. Take a deep breath for a second. How many times have you heard advice like: Here’s the thing. None of those are bad suggestions. In fact, I recommend many of them to my own clients. But if […]

Have you ever finally gotten a moment to slow down only to find yourself feeling restless, guilty, anxious, or uncomfortable? Maybe you’ve finished your to-do list and immediately started looking for the next thing. Maybe you sit down to relax and suddenly remember seventeen things you should be doing. Maybe you take a day off […]

Most people come into therapy wanting to stop people-pleasing. They want to stop saying yes when they mean no. Stop worrying about disappointing everyone. Stop feeling responsible for other people’s feelings. And those are worthwhile goals. But here’s what I often tell clients: The people pleaser isn’t actually the problem. The people pleaser is a […]