Most people come into therapy wanting to stop people-pleasing. They want to stop saying yes when they mean no. Stop worrying about disappointing everyone. Stop feeling responsible for other people’s feelings. And those are worthwhile goals. But here’s what I often tell clients: The people pleaser isn’t actually the problem. The people pleaser is a […]

“How are you?” “Fine.” For a lot of us, that answer comes out automatically. Fine. Good. Okay. Busy. Tired. They’re often the first words we reach for when someone asks how we’re doing. The problem? Most of them aren’t actually emotions. They’re summaries. And sometimes they’re ways of avoiding a deeper answer—even from ourselves. The […]